Another First

So last night I went on a date with a friend's co-worker. We went out to a local Belgium place for dinner, followed by a nice bakery for dessert (quickly becoming a favorite of mine). Overall I think the evening went okay, but not great. I mean we get along well, but there were occasional awkward moments where neither of us had much to say, or we ran out of small talk ideas.

I think what really bothered me a bit was that I wasn't having a great time. I wasn't bored per say, but I also wasn't enjoying myself entirely. She was nice, but it seemed like we would have had a great time if we knew each other better. I like the idea of dating, but I think I need to figure out how to enjoy the dates themselves. Last night I kind of felt like there was a luminous cloud hanging over us, dooming our evening as a "date" with all of its associated expectations and titles. It reminded me a lot of the last date I went on (not surprise blind date girl), where it just seems to fizzle.

I'm not sure if such a thing means we just don't get along, or I just don't know how to enjoy a one-on-one evening well with someone other than my close friends.

I'm feeling a little unsure about this whole thing right now. For instance, am I expecting too much of a good time from a first date? Perhaps I have too high hopes for how I want my next relationship to start. Or maybe I just need to flex the dating muscles some more? I don't want to get discouraged and give this whole experiment up, but I need some kind of motivation to go on the next date. Hmmm....

So I need your advice, oh lovely audience: How do you make a good first date? I guess I feel like friendly conversation can only go so far. Perhaps finding a dating activity that goes beyond dinner+conversation? Give us something distracting?

Spooky Quizes

I took an online quiz on www.okcupid.com, which seems to ask a lot of personal information. Anywho, here are the results. Whats really funny is I think I actually look a bit like the picture! I even have a green shirt lol.

The Boy Next Door Random Gentle Love Dreamer (RGLD) Kind, yearning, playful, you are The Boy Next Door. You're looking for real Love, a lot like girls do. It might not be manly, but it's sweet. We think the next three years will be very exciting and fruitful ones for you. Your spontaneous, creative side makes you a charming date, and we think you have a horny side just waiting to shine. Or glisten, rather. You enter new relationships unusually hopeful, and the first moments are especially glorious. If you've had some things not work out before, so what. On paper, most girls would name the Boy Next Door as their ideal mate. In the real world, however, you're often passed over for more dangerous or masculine men. You're the typical "nice guy:" without just a touch of cockiness, you're doomed with girls. A shoulder to cry on? Okay, sure. But never a penis to hold. More than any other type, Boys Next Door evolve as they get older. As we said, many find true love, but some fail miserably in the search. These tarnished few grow up to be The Men Next Door, who are creepy as hell, offering backrubs to kids and what not. Your exact male opposite: The 5-Night Stand Deliberate Brutal Sex Master Always avoid: The Nymph (DBSD) Consider: The Maid of Honor (DGLM), The Peach (RGLM)

Expectations

So, I've had my first "date", which turned out almost as terrible as I expected, though not quite interesting enough to be a really funny story. I met up with "Girl B" from my craigslist post, but as I had mentioned, her post was more about meeting new people and learning the city than going on a date. Our communication via email was similar, seeming more like she was interested in just casually meeting people than actually dating. We decided to meet up at a local coffee shop she heard about for some sweet snacking.

Now, let me disclaim myself by saying that initially, as evidence from my previous post, I was looking for a date, but her carefree vocabulary regarding our meetup suggested she was not. But I decided to meet with her regardless to give it a try. After some poor service and awkward conversation, I realized it was a date after all, mostly cause I got stuck with the bill. Now, I consider myself a classical-modern man, meaning I like buying women dinner but not because I feel like I'm expected to. What bothered me about the situation was that we both clearly had different expectations. One of my friends pointed out that I did contact her on a personal's site, so I suppose I'm just as much to blame, but I prefer a clearer picture of what is going on between two people prior to meeting up. If I ask someone out in person, I simply ask if I can buy them dinner.
Simple. Clear. No questions.


But anyway, I was thrown a bit off gaurd by the experience, but overall I wouldn't have acted differently or anything. I just like to know what I am getting myself into. I am not one of those people who act differently on a date, I'm very picky about being myself, but I do like to have a plan when I go on a date. For instance, if we are going to dinner I like to have a few backup places in mind that are close by, and some dessert or bars close by incase things go well. I think I'll just have to be clearer when I make arrangements about such things. In addition, I like to pick venues that are a bit less causual and more intimate.

Other than that the date wasn't very interesting. We didn't really "click", which wouldn't have bothered me as much if I knew it was a date going in.