Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Another First

So last night I went on a date with a friend's co-worker. We went out to a local Belgium place for dinner, followed by a nice bakery for dessert (quickly becoming a favorite of mine). Overall I think the evening went okay, but not great. I mean we get along well, but there were occasional awkward moments where neither of us had much to say, or we ran out of small talk ideas.

I think what really bothered me a bit was that I wasn't having a great time. I wasn't bored per say, but I also wasn't enjoying myself entirely. She was nice, but it seemed like we would have had a great time if we knew each other better. I like the idea of dating, but I think I need to figure out how to enjoy the dates themselves. Last night I kind of felt like there was a luminous cloud hanging over us, dooming our evening as a "date" with all of its associated expectations and titles. It reminded me a lot of the last date I went on (not surprise blind date girl), where it just seems to fizzle.

I'm not sure if such a thing means we just don't get along, or I just don't know how to enjoy a one-on-one evening well with someone other than my close friends.

I'm feeling a little unsure about this whole thing right now. For instance, am I expecting too much of a good time from a first date? Perhaps I have too high hopes for how I want my next relationship to start. Or maybe I just need to flex the dating muscles some more? I don't want to get discouraged and give this whole experiment up, but I need some kind of motivation to go on the next date. Hmmm....

So I need your advice, oh lovely audience: How do you make a good first date? I guess I feel like friendly conversation can only go so far. Perhaps finding a dating activity that goes beyond dinner+conversation? Give us something distracting?


Joanna said...

I think coming up with a date activity could rid you of those awkward moments. If you find yourself having a hard time to do small talk, you can just concentrate on whatever activity you're doing for a bit, and hopefully the awkward moment will pass. Also, the activity itself will give you something to talk about.

BS said...

I hate those first dates that just seem to plod along. The best first dates I've been on ARE a great time. But dates (especially blind dates) are like movies: you might know generally what it's about, you might have read the reviews, but there's still no guarantee you'll like it. Doesn't keep you from going to the movies again, right?